That's when you crack a 10am beer
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
