paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
