Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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