you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
