I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just forgot I was standing up.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
