Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
