my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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