he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
