So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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