dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize