i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
