This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
