This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
