I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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