Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
