ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
