I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
