East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
birth control should be required to get into college
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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