I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
