just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well I just put wine in my tea
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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