yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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