He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
