so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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