after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
