How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
