so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
