3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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