You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
