idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
