I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize