I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
