I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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