I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
operation have a gay friend backfired
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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