This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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