well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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