its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
