The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
