Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
