You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize