you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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