I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
