She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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