I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
