Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
