u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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