i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
