We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize