If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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