I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
