Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
