Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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