There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
