if i can run in heels then i can drive
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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