I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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