So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
