Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Princesses don't give blow jobs
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You're like the curious george of whores
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
