the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize