the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
