you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
