What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
