Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
