Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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