Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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