He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize