he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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