I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
