Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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