I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
