i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
