I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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