So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
