I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
