Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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