Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
