she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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