CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize