I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
